Home > ScienceMonster 16mm Home Movie Catalog
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titles waiting for their pages:
Radio Ranch (Gene Autry)
Spook Busters (The Bowery Boys)
Some
people might worry about how violent and antisocial some of these
movies are. I know it bothered me a lot when my little kids watched
these horrible things - I still occasionally phone up two of them
at UC Berkeley, where they were both
admitted, to make sure they weren't, you know, kinda warped. So
just for comparison's sake, printed here is a brief summary and highlights
of the 252+ deaths in The Iliad, that 'classic' epic poem that somehow
is required reading for 14 year-olds, that my wife prepared to, you
know, spark their interest in slogging thru that old book. Here is
a linked
Excel spreadsheet in case you would like to sort them by who cut
whose balls off. Oh, and here
is The Iliad, in case you need some light summer reading, too.
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24 Skewered (161, 165, 166, 240, 310, 398, 405, 411, 452, 453, 516, 518)...spearhead punched his back between the shoulders, gouging his flesh and jutting out through his ribs (165)
13 Butchered While Sleeping (292)...whirling into the slaughter now, hacking left and right and hideous groans broke from the dying Thracians slashed by the sword--the ground ran red with blood...he butchered twelve. Each man he'd stand above and chop with the sword....came upon the king, the thirteenth man, and ripped away his life, his sweet life as he lay there breathing hard. (292)
12 Pierced with an Arrow (240, 241, 313, 337)
10 Sliced Through the Neck (185, 214, 304, 354, 359, 423, 444, 518)...hacked his neck below the ear and the blade sank clean through, nothing held but a flap of skin, the head swung loose to the side (423)
10 Speared in the Chest (183, 307, 331, 347, 355, 408, 425, 423)...stabbed him square in the chest and split the bronze plate that cased his ribs...and the point stuck in his heart and the heart in its last throes jerked and shook the lance--butt-end quivering into the air (355)
8 Hacked in the Shoulder (166, 167, 168, 215, 310, 358, 423)...heavy sword hacked the collarbone, right on the shoulder, cleaving the whole shoulder clear of neck and back (168)
8 Stabbed in the Belly (182, 184, 219, 311, 354, 428, 459, 518)...it flayed the skin off Odysseus' ribs...he dragged the heavy spear...squelching out of his own wound and bulging shield. As the fighter tore it out the blood came gushing forth (311)
7 Slashed Near the Nipple (161, 235, 162, 165, 168, 299)...slashed his right nipple, clean through the shoulder went the brazen point and down in the dust he fell like a lithe black poplar (161)
7 Corpses Clogged the River (527))...he killed in a blur of kills...still more Paeonian men the runner would have killed if the swirling river had not risen, crying out in fury, taking a man's shape, its voice breaking out of a whirlpool..."All my lovely rapids are crammed with corpses now, no channel in sight to sweep my currents out to sacred sea--I'm choked with corpses and still you slaughter more, you blot out more! Leave me alone, have done--captain of armies, I am filled with horror!"
6 Crushed with a Rock (174, 183, 242, 337, 431, 431)...brought him down with a glinting jagged rock, massive, top of the heap behind the rampart's edge, ...crushed the rim of the fighter's four-horned helmet and cracked his skull to splinters, bloody pulp (337)
5 Speared in the Thigh (186, 197, 315, 323, 422, 423)...the honed tip of the weapon hitting his left thigh, ferocious, razoring into flesh and scraping bone (186)
4 Skulls Split Open (401, 423, 515, 518)...skewered...through the mouth, the merciless brazen spearpoint raking through, up under the brain to split his glistening skull--teeth shattered out, both eyes brimmed to the lids with a gush of blood and both nostrils spurting, mouth gaping, blowing convulsive sprays of blood (423)
4 Brains Splattered (299, 331, 452, 516)...skewered Damasus, pierced his bronze-sided helmet...boring through the metal and skull the brazen spearpoint pounded, Damasus' brains splattered all inside his casque (331)<>
4 Guts Spilled Out (162, 357, 452, 526)...slashing out his life, slitting his belly open--a scooping slice at the navel and all his bowels spilled out on the ground (526)
4 Eyeballs Fell Out (361, 436)...the sharp stone crushed both brows, the skull caved in and both eyes burst from their sockets, dropping down in the dust before his feet (436)
3 Slaughtered While Begging for Mercy (291, 518, 524)...just as Dolon reached up for his chin to cling with a frantic hand and beg for life, Diomedes struck him square across the neck--a flashing hack of the sword--both tendons snapped and the shrieking head went tumbling in the dust (291)
3 Tongues Cut Out (166, 173, 462)...Athena drove the shaft and it split the archer's nose between the eyes--it cracked his glistening teeth, the tough bronze cut off his tongue at the roots, smashed his jaw, and the point came ripping out beneath his chin (173)<>
3 Slit in the Liver (315, 354, 453)...struck him under the midriff, slit his liver and that instant the man's knees went limp (354)
3 Gouged in the Bowels (192, 353, 439)...rammed his spearshaft home, stabbing deep in the bowels, and the brazen point went jutting straight out through Patroclus' back (439)
3 Speared in the Back (438, 516, 519)
2 Hooked through the Mouth (423, 426)...stabbed his right jawbone, ramming the spearhead square between his teeth so hard he hooked him by that spearhead over the chariot-rail, hoisted, dragged the Trojan out as an angler perched on a jutting rock ledge drags some fish from the sea (426)
2 Pierced in the Bladder (166, 362)...let fly with a bronze-tipped arrow, hitting his right buttock up under the pelvic bone so the lance pierced the bladder. He sank on the spot, hunched in his dear companion's arms, gasping out his life as he writhed along the ground like an earthworm stretched out in death, blood pooling, soaking the earth dark red.(362)
2 Speared in the Forehead (160, 195)...speared the horsehair helmet right at the ridge, and the bronze spearpoint lodged in the man’s forehead, smashing through his skull and the dark came whirling down across his eyes (160)
2 Gouged in the Groin (161, 359)...speared him between the genitals and the navel--hideous wound, the worst the god of battles deals to wretched men. There the spear stuck. Hugging the shaft he writhed, gasping, shuddering like some wild bull in the hills (359)
2 Gored in the Hip (307, 422)...gored him in the hip with a slashing spear and the bronze lancehead hammered through his flesh, the shaft splintering bone as he pitched face-first, pounding the ground (422)
2 Heads Chopped Off (304, 518)...lanced his arm with a bronze-shod spear, he spitted the Trojan through where the elbow-tendons grip and there he stood, waiting Achilles, arm dangling heavy, staring death in the face--and Achilles chopped his neck and his sword sent head and helmet flying off together and marrow bubbling up from the clean-cut neckbone (518)
2 Corpses Mutilated, and 2 more considered for mutilation (348, 430, 544, 553)...and now he was bent on outrage, on shaming noble Hector. Piercing the tendons, ankle to heel behind both feet, he knotted straps of rawhide through them both, lashed them to his chariot, left the head to drag and mounting the car, hoisting the famous arms aboard, he whipped his team to a run and breakneck on they flew, holding nothing back. And a thick cloud of dust rose up from the man they dragged, his dark hair swirling round that head so handsome once, all tumbled low in the dust--since Zeus had given him over to his enemies now to be defiled in the land of his own fathers (553)
1 Stabbed in the Ribs (160)...spied his ribs, bared by his shield as he bent low—Agenor stabbed with a bronze spear and loosed his limbs, his life spirit left him (160)
1 Arm Lopped Off (167)...flailed with a sword, slashed the Trojan's shoulder and lopped away the massive bulk of Hypsenor's arm...the bloody arm dropped to the earth (167)
1 Head and Both Arms Lopped Off (299)...killed on the ground, slashing off his arms with a sword, lopping off his head and he sent him rolling through the carnage like a log (299)
1 Goddess Speared in the Wrist (175)...his sharp spear at her soft, limp wrist and the brazen point went slashing through her flesh, tearing straight through the fresh immortal robes...immortal blood came flowing quickly from the goddess (175)
1 Slashed in the Arm (304)...slashed him under the elbow, down the forearm--a glint of metal--the point ripped through his flesh (304)
1 Arrow in the Foot (309)...(arrow) punched the flat top of Tydides' right foot, the shaft dug through and stuck fast in the ground (309)
1 Split from Crotch to Navel (310)...Chersidamas next...caught him up under the bulging shield with a jabbing spear that split him crotch to navel--the man writhed in the dust, hands clutching the earth. (310)
1 Lanced in the Head (347)
1 Horse killed (234)...hit by a shaft...winged at its brow's high peak where the forelock crowns the skull--most fatal spot. It reared in agony, arrow piercing its brain and flung the team in panic, writhing round the brazen point (234)
87 More Killed without Gory Details (168, 182, 184, 187, 196, 214, 299, 306, 307, 310, 319, 331, 338, 438, 461, 518)
Several Grazed by a Spear (150, 223, 398, 525)...the tip of the weapon grazing the man’s flesh, and dark blood came spurting from the wound...(150).
Others Run Over by Chariots (425)
General Carnage Abounds (299, 293, 314, 400, 459, 519)...they sped the careering car into both milling armies, trampling shields and corpses, axle under the chariot splashed with blood, blood on the handrails sweeping round the car, sprays of blood shooting up from the stallions' hoofs and churning, whirling rims. (314)
Ground Often Streams with Blood (160, 410, 454, 519)...hacked each other at close range...killing each other now with hatchets, battle-axes, big swords, two-edged spears, and many a blade, magnificent, heavy-hilted and thonged in black lay strewn on the ground--some dropped from hands, some fell as the fighters shoulder-straps were cut--and the earth ran black with blood (410)
Even the Gods Fight Each Other (533, 534, 536) Ares vs. Athena (533); Hephaestus vs. the River Scamandeer (534); Athena vs. Aphrodite and Poseidon vs. Apollo (536); Hera vs. Artemis (533)
It's all About the Love (560) (Achilles tells his dead friend Patroclus that all the human sacrifice is for him)..."Farewell Patroclus, even there in the House of Death! Look—all that I promised once I am performing now: I've dragged Hector here for the dogs to rip him raw--and here in front of your flaming pyre I'll cut the throats of a dozen sons of Troy in all their shining glory, venting my rage on them for your destruction! (560)<>